Random Bleach OneShots
by KikiKapriix
Summary: These will be a series of random thoughts or old Bleach rps I find amuzing. X3; 9/10 of the time they will contain Kiki and my friend's character Sammy. Hope you enjoy R
1. Nice Ass Ichigo

Sammy sat there, a look of concentration covering her face. Everyone had been dragged there by Urahara to play strip poker and everyone basically lost. There were only four left, Sammy who was sitting there with a deep red bra and black underwear with yellow polka dots, Ichigo who wore just plain boxers, Renji who was also left in his boxers, and Kiki who was wearing a blue bra and black undies that had green stars all over them. Sammy sat on one end, Ichigo on her right, with Kiki on the opposite side, and Renji on her left, basically the girls were opposite one another as where the males.

Silence crept upon them as Sammy started fixing her fort she had made with everyone's clothes. Ichigo just blinked.

"Sammy, you're weird."

Kiki giggled lightly. Everyone on the side waited, wanting to know who would win.

"I win."

Renji smirked. Ichigo grumbled as he lost, being forced to take his boxers off. Sammy grumbled as well, taking her bra off. Kiki innocently pulled out her hair tie, frowning lightly from loosing though.

"What the hell?!"

Ichigo yelled, noting his boxers he had recently taken off had disappeared.

"Nice ass Ichigo."

Renji snickered, being somewhat amused. Ichigo just growled as his eye twitched.

"Where did you put my clothes you mofo?!"

He yelled loudly. Sammy just squeaked making a 'nyeh' noise as she hid behind a large pillow she had recently found.

"Don't say mofo! It wiggles when you say mofo!"

Sammy said referring to his 'member'. Ichigo just glared then continued to look for his clothes. They moved on, playing another round. Eventually Ichigo found his boxers in Sammy's clothes fort.

"Looks like I win..."

Sammy smirked in triumph. Renji groaned, his eye twitched lightly as he was forced to take his boxers off. Sniffling lightly, Kiki unhooked her bra, pulling it off, but keeping it close to her unlike everyone else. Everyone just stared for a second as she did, even Renji who was so distracted he didn't notice that someone had stolen his boxers.

His eye just twitched when he finally noticed, staring at the clothes pile wondering if they had disappeared in the depths of it.

"Nice ass Renji."

Ichigo snickered, obviously he was behind Renji's disappearing boxers. He wanted to get revenge for Renji hiding his earlier.

"Shuddup..."

He glared at Ichigo, a demonic tone dancing in his voice as he started tearing apart the clothes fort to find his clothes. Kiki and Sammy continued, the two down to their last bit of clothing.

"Yes yes yes I won!"

Kiki giggled happily, throwing her arms up in the air. Everyone just stared with wide eyes as her breasts bounced with her actions. Sammy just had an 'ehh...eh...eh?' expression as she sadly removed her underwear, jumping into the pile of clothes afterwards. Kiki was so excited about winning she jumped on Renji, forgetting her lack of clothing.

"I won, RenRen-chan, I won!"

She giggled happily, blinking as he had somehow slipped out of her hug. She frowned lightly, seeing him on the floor covering his nose. He had been trying to hide the fact he was so embarrassed he got a nose bleed. Ignoring that Kiki went over and glomped Ichigo.

"Berry-tan! I won!"

She giggled, still hugging him. He was able to last a second or two longer than Renji but soon was on his knees holding his bloody nose as well. Kiki by now had jumped over to her favorite person to glomp, Hanatarou.

"Hana-kun, Hana-kun! I won! I won!"

Again Kiki was still giggling, for some reason really happy about winning. The shy 'hana-kun' just stood there, his face at least 100 times redder than anyone else's in the room, his eyes small swirls as they swirled around. Falling to the floor he fainted, causing Kiki to blink.

"Hana-kun...?"

She questioned, poking his non-moving body.

Truth or dare moment :3

Renji peered around the room, wondering who would be his victim for this ridiculous game.

"Ichigo, truth or dare?"

Ichigo just arched his eyebrow, shrugging lightly.

"Eh, truth?"

Renji thought for a second about what he should ask him.

"If you were gay...who would you do?"

He questioned as the thought was the first one to pop into his head.

"You."

Ichigo stated plainly.

"Really?"

Renji asked.

"Yeah."

Was all Ichigo replied.

"Oh thank you."

He said feeling complimented for the first time since he met the orange haired boy.

"You're welcome.  
"


	2. Urahara, the refrigerator, & the Eskimo

**:3; This was born thanks to Uryuu, remember when he said 'That man can sell a refrigerator to an Eskimo'? Yeah that's what this one-shot is about! Oh we have one or two more one-shots being readied: Ichigo dying his hair because he was sick of everyone complaining about th color ;; and Kon being a gentleman!**

**Anyhoo I don't own Bleach we all know this :3**

Ichigo and Kiki were currently walking around the snowy land. For some odd reason Sammy, Ichigo, Kiki, and a few others had been forced to go to Alaska. Kind of weird huh? Well Urahara's a weirdo, and it was him who had dragged all of them to Alaska. He had heard a little suggestion from a certain Quincy saying how he could sell a refrigerator to an Eskimo, so he wanted to prove him right!  
"This is the finest heating system you'll ever receive in your life!"  
His voice chimed out, hiding his sly smirk behind a small tan colored fan. The Eskimo blinked, putting his hand inside of the machine.  
"But it's cold, not warm."  
Sammy stood on the side, just arching her eyebrow at the odd shop owner.  
"But my good man! This is the finest heating system you will ever receive; I told you that did I not? It takes at least twenty four hours to heat up. You can't just expect it to heat up as soon as you get it!"  
The Eskimo arched his eyebrow, seeming to check out the machine. Obviously he wasn't taken over so easily, it seemed too much like a regular refrigerator.  
"How about this, you buy it in the next twenty minutes and I'll give you 20 off."  
It took him a second, thinking over the offer. Nodding he wrote Urahara a check, the shop owner just grinning slyly.  
"I didn't mean you actually had to drag us off to Alaska to prove you could do it!"  
Ishida yelled in protest, really annoyed about randomly being removed from his house and dragged off to one of the coldest areas on the planet. He just ignored the Quincy, folding the check up and placing it inside of his wallet. Sammy rolled her eyes, looking off in the distance to see where ever Ichigo and Kiki had leapt off to. The black haired female skipped around upon the air, her eyes narrowed at the sight of nothing but snow.  
"That stupid Urahara said there were hollows here! Damnit he only wanted to come here to prove Uryuu right about the stupid Eskimo thing."  
Randomly she stormed off, causing Ichigo to blink. It wasn't the fact he wanted to prove him right about something, hey this is Urahara we're talking about. It was the fact that Uryuu didn't want to go alone so he forced both of THEM to go as well.  
"My 'Kiki's coming to kill Ura-san' senses are tingling."  
Sammy mumbled, crossing her arms and staring off. 'Ura-san' was now attempting to sucker in another Eskimo, also giving him the 20 off discount. Uryuu's eyes narrowed, pushing his glasses to the bridge of his nose.  
"I was able to sense it three minutes ago."  
Was all he said, sensing the female's spiritual pressure constantly changing on her way back to the three. Kiki soon returned to the group, grabbing the male's hat, also getting a handful of his sandy blonde hair as well.  
"I'm going to kill you if you EVER try this again!"  
Yanking him around, she threw him onto the ground. His hat flew up, Sammy simply taking it and setting it atop her head. The Eskimo just blinked, dragging his refrigerator away after handing Sammy a check for said amount.  
"You know? There are alot of things you deserve...and you defiantly deserved that."  
Crossing her arms, she headed towards the truck they drove in from the air port. Uryuu just sighed, following Sammy. Kiki waited a second, kicking the blonde before following the other two. Ichigo simply sighed, looking down at him.  
"You know Urahara, I think Sammy is right."  
Grabbing the top of whatever-it-was he wore, he dragged Urahara back to the truck so the group could leave. After that day they swore they would not state anything like that again, unless they wanted to be dragged around just so he could prove or disprove the statement.


End file.
